Bicket.

hm

2012-02-24T01:12:00.001+08:00

2012-02-22T23:50:00.001+08:00

i miss being somebody's someone.

too late for that now. midterms are coming.

tumbleweed.

2012-02-21T23:53:00.001+08:00

welcome back.

as always, being in this state of existence, i always find myself trying to use a thesaurus to substitute feelings.

maybe euphemism

something i feel like a tumbleweed
rolling down the road

its been a good few days, and now deep into this reading week, i am in constant fighting with myself concerning the immediate outcome of things

i really should get to study,

i really should.

pass those golden hills and trees

feeling like im alone

we send starships and try so hard not to.

heavy my heart and still my hand

i wont make things worse than they are right now.

uncertain, isnt it.

take a look right from my eyes

see right inside my own eyes

always hold tight to the links to your past.

but bridges once burnt,

i dont see any way back

sitting through all those files

searching for what i ....ill surely find

what will i do with my time? in general i mean

will i truly find peace staying here? or will i enjoy a better time (leaving life out of the equation)

how...

uncertain.

im not free yet.

2012-02-20T19:07:00.001+08:00

i have a strange bout of adrenaline now.

you know what?

2012-02-15T00:11:00.001+08:00

fuck all these cries of non-inviting or non-sharing.

if people didnt want my presense, i guess they wouldnt even think about it.
if people didnt want to share things with me, they wouldnt even bother.

fuck "bo jio"

i guess thats why i am poorer than anyone i know.

2012-02-14T23:27:00.001+08:00

you cant just become friends

we went to laneway

2012-02-14T04:03:00.000+08:00

its valentines day.

you know what i always said about valentines.

things to do while high

2012-02-12T22:23:00.001+08:00

1. listen to heavy music.
2. listen to postrock
3. listen to omodaka
4. watch youtube poop

2012-02-12T18:30:00.001+08:00

I looked through my things today.

Now I remember why I didn't want to.

2012-02-11T02:15:00.001+08:00

i was never there. and when the time comes, i wont be there to see you go.

2012-02-11T02:06:00.001+08:00

to one:
we were who we were, until we werent.
then, it was what it was, as it will.

to another:
heart and soul. im putting in my heart and soul. its okay if im alone,
its okay if you wont.

to yet another:
it isnt right.

to one another:
be strong, be well.

touche.

2012-02-11T01:22:00.001+08:00

chest and shoulder

back and biceps

i wanna Rock with you

2012-02-11T01:17:00.001+08:00

yeah, i guess there really is a bunch of things to say.

another night show, another concert.

has it been that long already?

at a long table, variations in years

graduation of ages from one end and then the most senior on the other

we talk about times we had

talk about the nonsense and maybe indication of the monsters we've become.

we talk about the good times and through the mindless chatter

just a good time catching up.

another generation,

has it been that long already?

the years are piling up, and you cant hide it.

but we're still so proud of you

how it has become a straight entity

something so symbolic and yet, not really losing meaning.

its been a good time,

and it will be, for a good time.

so many things involved

has it been that long already?

putting my heart and soul

or at least, i think

maybe nobody knows how proud i am

or whether if that really matters or not

i will only fall in love

with work, and not anything

because this is important

and compromise

to make sure it will fly.

we cant not succeed.

weapons on a staircase

has it been that long already?

if i come home

shot in the head

whisked away and hidden

who would know?

if i come home

and everyone else gone

where would i go?

what would i do?

too many things to think about.

i forgot to bring back my power-all.

2012-02-06T02:40:00.001+08:00

i need to keep reminding myself i dont belong here.

no.

2012-02-02T02:32:00.001+08:00

this isnt...

2012-01-19T02:45:00.000+08:00

as you many know, this blog has been here since my adolescence. since the start of all the drinking, partying, juggling and rage.

and as some people are acquainted with, the crazy musings of a probably unsafe mind.

i let out more than id like, but i dont really thing that makes sense right now.

unpoetic, the words said speaking something hiding in plain sight

the paradox a simple tool in which people stop caring and

its just like he said

"when its a dream sequence, the audience believes everything you say."

why do i blog?

i dont know. even with every single piece of social media (which is fast becoming a social obligation, if you ask me [which i am unable to break free off, right now])

its impersonal, and unprivate to the people who dont really care.

the stench of alcohol on my breath

and the cloud of disillusion on my soul.

i guess the past has been strange,

always led by the fact that i thought i could get anything i wanted.

i thought i could Be anything i wanted.

maybe so. but not apparent at this point of time.

mellow as i may be

wine tastes best

and sweat trickles down

my furrows.

art today, it was refreshing, looking at somebody's work.

at my own pace and with a slowness of being.

any more writing, and id spoil it.

i need to get new earphones.

i am still bitter that i didnt get tickets for toe.

2012-01-19T02:32:00.001+08:00

i will fight for the fighters.

which fighters?

Foo Fighters.

what has become

2012-01-19T02:30:00.000+08:00

i think i have become the most uninspired, broken and lost [person] you might know.

the little things mean now, and how perspective is warped, like a fisheye in a suspense film.

honesty is important, but maybe i havent been living without glass eyes for the most part.

the little monologues i have, i do not understand even myself, but given knowledge of the situation, maybe you'll realise that i really Am lost.

i still read your blog

2012-01-19T02:26:00.001+08:00

why? i dont know.

i am happy that youre moving on, however.

2012-01-18T18:18:00.001+08:00

Public swimming pools remind me of the things I've lost.

But interesting to know that people still take the effort.

Quiet, quaint little settlement.

People who don't care enough.

2012-01-18T02:56:00.001+08:00

maybe

2012-01-18T01:50:00.000+08:00

my dreams will fail me.

2012-01-16T21:41:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_L4Rixya64

2012-01-10T01:59:00.001+08:00

when the world ends, who will love me

2012-01-09T19:20:00.000+08:00

New Years, New Ears

2012-01-05T11:50:00.001+08:00

A certain level of intimidation.

2012-01-05T04:16:00.001+08:00

So if I were a successful and rockstar, would this be Any different?

i dont want to make you angry any more.

2012-01-02T23:35:00.000+08:00

what are we left with now.

2012-01-02T03:01:00.001+08:00

2012-01-01T10:54:00.001+08:00

Sent from Samsung Mobile

2011-12-31T15:22:00.001+08:00

there are reasons why i dont appear in photos

2011-12-26T03:35:00.001+08:00

Tell me where you have been, the stories you know, the things you've seen, what you wanted to be

the waltz, playing in my head, a slow dance, saying what couldve been said

pray for escape, didnt mind staying anywhere else

it wouldnt make a difference, its all just the same

if only to find out who you really care for, if only to find out what really matters

i never really know what im talking about most of the time.

one day i will scream into microphones, and it will all make sense

2011-12-26T03:31:00.001+08:00

2011-12-23T10:48:00.001+08:00

Gotta be useful gotta be an asset to the team

we can only go so far, take so much.

2011-12-19T01:17:00.001+08:00

An artist's struggle

2011-12-18T17:13:00.001+08:00

Hungry but no money to eat
I don't ever want to have this feeling again.

Hungry.

as mentioned,

2011-12-17T01:57:00.000+08:00

welcome home, no one's home.

one day i will scream into microphones, and it will all make sense

the waltz, playing in my head, a slow dance, saying what couldve been said

i have a sinking feeling

2011-12-16T23:59:00.001+08:00

that next year is going to be terrible for me.

Every aspect on the facet of a diamond

Cut

Billions

2011-12-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

So many people alive at the same time

Uni is the time where you find out whos here to stay and how's it gonna be like because it's that age where you start to consider mortality and isolation

It stings because ive been there and I know what it felt like

Not anymore, now
Not anymore

To these, I'm just another person.
We all make mistakes.

Cheers.

2011-12-14T21:13:00.001+08:00

These are the kinds of things you write songs about.

I guess I'm usually pretty solitary when it comes to times that matter.

Where is everyone when I'm shambles?

inspiration floss

2011-12-08T23:15:00.001+08:00

2011-12-06T08:47:00.000+08:00

so hows that for a year.

this year, my peers turn 21.

i myself turned 21.

i didnt do much, i ate cake.

i didnt party as much as i thought people would on 21st birthdays.

its just a place to stay, sleep and piss people off

2011-12-05T21:25:00.001+08:00

Sleeping on the couch

2011-12-04T01:26:00.001+08:00

So that my parents are the first thing ill see in the morning.

We can be
happy,but not sad.
Fired up, but not mad.

We can only be passionate
In everything we do.

Just performers. Entertainers in our own right.
Everyone isn't like me, however.
And me, everyone.

2011-11-23T17:54:00.002+08:00

2011-11-20T18:45:00.000+08:00

I haven't had much to show thus far

2011-11-20T18:32:00.001+08:00

2011-11-20T17:16:00.000+08:00

would i survive anywhere else?

would i be anyone?

Do whatever you want, just live with it.

2011-11-16T20:18:00.001+08:00

im still learning.

2011-10-26T16:35:00.001+08:00

escape reality, if only for just a bit.

when you leave your best friend behind

2011-10-23T00:10:00.001+08:00

Dont leave him behind.

Just dont.

Its selfish. its a terrible thing to do. its a terrible thing to think of.

DONT FUCKING LEAVE HIM ALONE.

its a terrible night

2011-10-22T23:20:00.001+08:00

for intangible reasons.

poetry and then some melancholy

from my past, my present and my future.

here i am, wishing for more stripped down music

more heartfelt thanks

and more things to hold on to

before i escape reality

for good.

times like these,

2011-10-21T02:00:00.001+08:00

i am afriad to lose a friend.

someone who has been my constant, who has held my hand, my head up.

a simple song, heard on a simple day

one i didnt want to end

a simple tune, from a simple band

from a distant land

floating over a body of water

the one occurrence i was with you

origins i understand now

i hope my fears wont come true.

im afraid to lose my best friend to the world.

if my best friend were to go

2011-10-07T02:16:00.001+08:00

i think i would be very alone.

very.

i like the milk tea olivia bought me

2011-10-07T01:56:00.001+08:00

i also like the sugar she bought me

2011-10-05T02:28:00.001+08:00

why dont i ever blog properly anymore?

oh thats right, i dont really have anything proper to say.

rockstars dont need to drive

2011-09-22T12:42:00.001+08:00

waxing a fucking lyrical

because we havent an ounce of courage left

but still we are tied down

to harsh reality,

that we havent much else yet.

Where is sleep going

for us to have to catch up on it

things always few when we need it most

like buses, metals and precious time.

inspiration, rest and success.

the moon, so far away

smiles at us twice a month,

when it comes

when it goes

the currency of favours

not withholding any slack

keep paying it forward

and pick up your attack.

human, once again

2011-09-10T07:13:00.001+08:00

i hate it.

i am the very thing i despise.

only heartbreak can matter

2011-09-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

when the world ends

we will only have our memories to guide us

the bit of our soul we can bring along

only heartbreak can matter

only quaint french words can describe

the tired strings

and drawn out sentences

we already think too much about

how much can you block

before crumbling

how much can you guard

before breaking

dude, you are supposed to be cool

2011-08-28T18:38:00.000+08:00

now you are just subnormal.

really feel quite stupid.

2011-08-24T01:06:00.000+08:00

one day ill capture those hearts my own way.

2011-08-12T00:54:00.001+08:00

good effort.

2011-08-07T02:09:00.001+08:00

for someone who's barely around.

i guess no one really comes by here any more.

no problems with that.

i cant even play a proper solo.

2011-08-05T18:35:00.001+08:00

thats strange you know?

2011-08-01T02:33:00.001+08:00

the way sticks and stones can break my bones

and words infuriate me

two can play that game

but only i know whats going on

its a secret that plays about in my head

in the devils sandbox

the look in your eyes

tells me you arent alive

hidden smiles and thoughtful whiles

we seek to find middle ground

beauty lies in the right places

with bed,breakfast and soul to keep

looking for what we need

looking for everything

you want me to be.

looking at my weakness in the eyes.

2011-07-29T21:13:00.001+08:00

well this is interesting.

2011-07-29T12:23:00.001+08:00

it feels good somehow,

like a thing on my list corssed, i mean Crossed off

and now im sitting at a coffee place, doing some typing on a laptop.

but you can feel it.

its like prologue is going to end.

setlist

2011-07-23T01:35:00.001+08:00

1. Wasitacatisaw

2. Lunchtime

3. Too Fat To Fly

4. Guitars Travel Next Week

5. wasitacatisaW

6. Old Friend (Acoustic)

Things to look forward to

2011-07-17T02:54:00.000+08:00

It'll be awhile now, time is getting tight, we'll find our gloves, we'll find our fight.

Guitar

Amplifier

Audio Interface

Jeans

A Trip Down-Under.

maybe a trip to Japan.

in other news, school starts in 2 weeks, a placement test next week.

i move in, driving test

and some shows with a lot of running around

however tight time has been, its been nice, like a glove on a glove.

good ramen

good drinks

good company

good time, i must say.

pity cab fares though. i mean to be early!

where was i when the world needed one
now i knows how to save itself
and i regret no being able to share my hand.
you are my world now
and you are all i have
imperfect, but still working towards
our impressionists standard,
our only true word.
ballistic company
our only respite
nothing can save us
from ourselves
if not our own

2011-07-16T04:09:00.000+08:00

always good to see bands.

makes me wonder how we'll start, and how far we'll go.

i hope it'll be a good set.

Lesson learnt:

2011-07-07T16:10:00.000+08:00

Read everything they give you.

I guess ill need to figure something else out...

Cheers.

2011-07-05T14:01:00.001+08:00

i want to go back in time

i wouldnt change a thing

i just want to live through it again

2011-07-02T03:24:00.001+08:00

taste the hunger on my breath

open your eyes. Bigger.

they believe in what they believe in, and what they believe in is strong.

allow only a little bit of regret
its only no-one

no time for games, only time for games.

how is it that i took an hour to get home...

Sometimes it takes forever.

someday ill be right there.

2011-07-02T03:09:00.001+08:00

incandescence sparkling forth

its really bright, cant you see?

one day we'll figure it out

it'll be our time, just wait for me

its so brilliant

like the sun in the sky

only its indoors

and an hour away from nine.

living in the shadow of me

2011-07-01T00:18:00.001+08:00

i am

2011-06-25T15:18:00.001+08:00

im so out of it its annoying.

i feel a little blue in the shoe

a queue of things we need to do

and then realise there wasnt much that was true.

runt and shunt

at this stage, anything can happen.

theft and treason.

but never a better season.

pilot and me never been afloat

you realise you never really owned that vote.

the last time there was an explosion

three kids cried out 'mercy'

it was never their fight

but it was still a terrible controversy.

i drink pink lemonade mainly at lunch.

passing

2011-06-22T22:13:00.000+08:00

bouncing back and forth between times, past and future

the things that happened

guiding and shaping what we see today

the passing of a friend

the moving of another

and your actions that take place after that.

how it evolved

how it changed

and how it settled to what it is today.

r.i.p. mr cobain.

foos.

2011-06-22T21:20:00.000+08:00

so i guess this is kind of like the cartoons i watch

it cant happen.

but this time, it did. and its so awesome.

such a big machine. and still moving.

will it happen to me?

because you had a good day

2011-06-15T01:26:00.000+08:00

hurdle

then stingray

oyster

beef and chicken

coke

balls

and gamer rage.

because you had a good day.

2011-06-13T04:19:00.001+08:00

oh my high tops

but of course some people have all the luck

oh pull out the stops

this way we dont have to give a fuck

2011-06-13T04:18:00.001+08:00

we the Bearsnot enough lifetimes

aforementioned

memory is memory and past is past

katzenstrau

welcome home.

hello sixty-five.

Because you had a good day.

the smell of milk

2011-05-29T21:27:00.001+08:00

brutally honest

friends only the lonely could have

quickly forgotten

you'll walk away

im too fat to fly

so here, ill say good bye.

2011-05-24T02:21:00.000+08:00

wow. its been a fast month.

safe flights

time away

we're walking streets

we never thought we would

take me there when its time to go

everytime you tell me so

just give me a few more hours.

its your time to shine,

your time to shine.

let this time be mine.

swift conversation

we speak languages we never knew we could

we share joy

we share peace

and love till the sun sets

take me where we're supposed to go

im lost but safe

with the knowledge

that youre there for me

its our turn to shine

our turn, and mine,

let this time be fine.

please wait one more day.

there must be some other way.

tune

2011-05-15T14:26:00.000+08:00

out of.

a wedding

2011-05-14T03:27:00.001+08:00

i think scholarship has forgotten about me

2011-05-12T12:31:00.000+08:00

why does my left clavicle ache

2011-05-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

alas i have caused this in one way or another

2011-05-07T03:25:00.001+08:00

my girlfriend is hooked onto japanese anime and drama.

little bird

2011-05-06T15:34:00.000+08:00

flying up and down since 10

carrying bits and pieces

building a nest on my roof.

youre taking your time.

but its good to see youre not giving up.

does anyone still read this space?

2011-05-06T03:11:00.000+08:00

am i interesting or not

2011-05-04T02:38:00.001+08:00

of course im invisible, why else would no one reply

kill on sight

of course, a blank shuffle

play electric guitar at night and wake people up

tbh sometimes the colour of curtains is really just the colour of curtains.

X-hatch

to be home

whats on your mind? nothing much.

i probably make a better acquaintance than a friend.

lets take over the world.

Blindspot Highbeams

Psychic Tophat

gone as quickly as i came

Froggie in a well.

so when the elections end, what will it be? will there be robots, will there be individual flight?

i dont have enough thread to sew up the skies

oh false alarm

eating slowly.

2011-05-04T02:33:00.001+08:00

today my friend asked me, who do you hang out with?

just my best friend. but when she's busy i guess i dont have much else.

what its may already

2011-05-01T01:56:00.000+08:00

hanayome shugyo.

2011-04-13T17:51:00.000+08:00

best story ive heard.

whoa wtf

2011-04-12T22:59:00.001+08:00

Standstill.

i dont want to be human.

2011-04-12T22:36:00.001+08:00

short sighted.

priority on what is bad, and never giving any to saving grace.

dump

2011-04-06T10:21:00.001+08:00

‎'now we are cosmic friends forever ok?'
travel safe, on your way back
the grin on your belly
brings a smile to mine

will buy a cake, and eat it.

yes staring at moving images on the screen
my vision blurs over
and gaze shifts slightly
as i am trolled by a non-existent pistachio.

Variable Analogues.

Because Deadlines are Dead.
my left leg just went to sleep without me.

why panda pick rorschach?

Rupert went missing

dark eyes please do not cheat me now

wipe that frown off your face

Clear Skies Directly Above Me

Its the story of the elephant that is magical.

who are we? we are Bears.

Not hidden. merely out of sight.

Chekhov's gun

i will learn to drive so we can disappear as quickly as we came

thats just the love of a family away from a family.

sxsw to save my anguished soul.

rubbing my eye red

departed anchorage

this lack of sleep is making my world spin.
why am i fighting so hard? what
fight for nothing
and win your own success
that way
you earn much more in excess
my eyes burn with a fire that keeps my mind closed
and my body struggling to keep
time speeding up my movements slowing down
i was never as strong as i was before.

rock out hard, so we can headbang until we get dizzy
and only tonight, we can fly, leave your shoes on the ground.

but for which

2011-03-31T03:31:00.001+08:00

i know not what i speak.

why panda pick rorschach?

2011-03-31T02:58:00.000+08:00

all dis talk

2011-03-31T02:43:00.001+08:00

well.

so much time has passed, i have completed military bonds to this stage and its been close to 5 months already.

maybe recording down all my thoughts on online media havent been the first thing on my mind.

or rather, i guess hands have been pretty full for the past few thousand hours.

my thoughts, i guess, arent the most important things around.

they stray far from subject matter, and expound the worst of habit.

my speech, guided by those, is thus haywire and incoherent

as is the things that i type. but i suppose the written word comes out slower than a 4-horsepower cart of the tongue.

either way,

its a journey. to remember to talk slowly.

or to refrain at all.